No Justice

Nothing is sacred to the devil. My heart violently writhing in my chest Reminds me of that daily. Fifteen years may as well have been two days. The clock ticks towards an inevitable end. Whispering all the promises you once made to me, in her ear. Are you lying to her too? Another home wrecking

Words

Before the words were said Before the feeling faded Before the first touch The first dance The first kiss The first born My hand was on the door I let the devil win the game Thinking it was all in my head but the battle had been fought and lost in a single breath The

Waiting

It’s the waiting.It’ll get you every time.Waiting for the right personWaiting for changeWaiting for the test resultsWaiting for forgivenessFor the other shoe to dropThe answerThe phone callThe right timeThe wound to healThe next stepThe endIt’s the waiting.It’ll get you, every fucking time. -Clary

Suffocation

What is this? I’m happy. Right? Then why do I feel so hindered? Why does it feel less like a choice, And more like chains? Are these my true feelings or Is the devil trying to get the upper hand? I just need some time away. I think. Just some time that isn’t full of

Take A Breath

I no longer question the existence of God. I’ve passed that point in my life. I know damn well I was created, and though I often forget, I know what I was meant to do. Still, I find myself struggling through the muck of life. I know it was never meant to be easy, but

Christmas Reminder!

Throwback post! Merry Christmas!

Silent Alterations

Can you feel it? All around. Perpetual change. No one can escape it. The silent alterations. Bending us gradually so we don’t notice. Swept up in the “to do” lists of the day. Most don’t feel it. We capture it. The pictures you hang on your walls… artifacts in museums we call homes. God and

Silent Pain

i miss my dad.

More Time

Never enough time. Being the youngest of four I always thought I was the furthest from all the changes that come with age. I calculated my youth by all the milestones I had yet to reach. Now I find myself on the precipice of something new. Another change I don’t look forward to. A slower

What of Me?

What of me when newness fades?When you have since abandoned longing for my lips. The shape of my disposition no longer quenching your desires. What of me when time and toil have stolen my days?When these arms lose the worth of their breadth. Ravaged by ailments and grief of this life. What of me when

Losing My Religion

An entire life spent trying to be what everyone expected. Kneel, stand, the sign of the cross, Hail Mary & Our Father. Confess your sins to the envious pedophile. No worries, the confessional has a screen. Not to mention peddling God door to door. A salesman without answers. No Christmas, no Easter, no makeup, no

We Rise

No worries, We’ll be okay, whatever may come. Empires have risen and fallen Hellfire, rain, famine, locust, pandemic and all. We’ll be okay. We’ll rise from the rubble, rebuild what was lost. Waters recede, and the sun shines again We’ll rise from the ash, as spring gifts us her bloom. Crops are resown, industries recover

Oh the Shit You’ll Go Through!

A short take on Dr. Suess for Adults!

Sanctimonious

The words rolled off her tongue so eloquently. I, even believed her bullshit. She wore that infectious smile and feigned excitement when she met someone new. Inviting you to rub elbows with the “elites,” like that is where you belonged. Fooled so many, including myself, with her slippery manipulations. If she said you were enough,

You

I can’t understand it. I can’t comprehend. How a love so deep spawned so quickly from friends. Just a small spark, ignites a fire; That makes you think up all these dreams and desires. It wraps you in tightly, without regard Of whom you’re attached to, no matter how far. It tells you that love

We Are The Music

A homage to T.S. Eliot’s Four Quartets

Once Upon A Time

I sat in my car that gray stricken day and watched drops of water speckle the windshield then collect into tiny puddles. They slid down the glass, like shooting stars, gathering their friends along the way. My mind unable to shake our earlier conversation. “I want a divorce; I don’t love you the way I

A Prayer

I come to petition you in this, what seems our darkest hours for some years now.  Though I know others struggle equally or more than even I and that greater troubles are still on our horizon. I feel thin and shallow like not enough breath to fill ones lungs, and I wait. A longing ache

Excerpt – Antony

One of the saddest moments in this sneak peek into the novel I’m working on. Still needs some tweaking but getting there!

Joy

© 2020 CMBClary Longing to feel joy again Does sorrow ever take a rest? Control emotions with behest. Breathe the air, with weightless chest. To feel again even in brief No more tears of pain and grief. No tangled rage and disbelief.  Or shattered remnants, just relief I long to one day smile again. Does

Carry On

© 2020 CMBClary Memories brim at every corner of my mind. A heavy stone in my chest, A lump in my throat, but, I carry on. What else is there? Just tasks. All the things no one else will do, They wait for me. And while my heart is a still ache, I carry on.

Merry Christmas!

As Christmas Eve falls upon us again and we each repeat our holiday traditions. (Some of us in a not so jolly disposition) Take a moment to stop, take a breath, and take it all in. Remember those you love, those who couldn’t make it for a visit, and those no longer with us. These

Pet -A Funny Rhyme or Two

I want to keep you as a pet To come to me at my behest To dream of me all the day long To be here at my beckon call I want to keep you as a pet To laugh at my comedic fret To clean my house and smile at me To be whatever

Cold Winter Day

©2017 C. Clary When winter dew kisses the earth, My fatigued soul will long for mirth. Frigid reminder of what could have been. A constant pain from deep within. My body aching, searching for yours. To touch would be the cause of wars. To kiss those silken lips so sweet. To love you with unbridled

The End

It’s over now. I ripped you from my life. You were woven in so tightly for so long. I didn’t think I could hold it together without you there. I didn’t think I’d survive it. I miss you at times. We were best friends. I thought by some miracle we still would be, But I

Near

I felt you here today. I didn’t see you. We didn’t speak. But I knew you were near. -Clary

Uninspired

©2019 CMBClary The vibration of the washer through the wall makes the bed ripple beneath me. My thoughts scatter like shredded paper and I struggle to pick them up and make something coherent of them. All the want of being alone, when I finally am, the desire to produce eludes me. A slight ringing in

The Spaces In-between

Life, so full at times, Even all the spaces in-between. A fullness that inundates every crevice. This too will pass. Soft skin to folds of leathery lines, Strong steady hands to trembling decline. Golden locks to un-kept silver strands. And time, While filled with too much, still insatiable. Do not grow weary of your busy

Displaced

Darkened skin  Freckled nose Lines baked in by time and sun Furrowed brow Callused hands  dirt stained cracks and folds Clouded eyes look on and wait For death? Perhaps, Or  maybe just a  Hand to hold. -Clary

Thought of the Day

I mostly think that everyone falls on hard times. Even then, being worried that I’ve run out of Dom Perignon would be far less stressful than finding out I’ve just run out of toilet paper and only have a $1.15 to my name. Yes that seems like an extreme, but for many that is reality.