Me

I forget myself sometimes.

Forget that I am not just a mom, a wife, a sister, or a daughter.
I’m not just the referee of remotes, the apology police, or the kisser of boo-boos.

I am me.

I’m not just the cooker of meals, the cleaner of snotty noses and sticky fingers, the fixer of broken hearts, or resuscitator of gold-fish.

I am me.

I’m not just the chauffeur to the party, the stroker of egos, or the knocker down of high horses.

I am me.

The real me is reading books, writing stories, making art, and planting gardens.

The real me prefers the company of animals over people, and being outdoors over the four walls I find myself surrounded by too often.

Yet, somewhere jumbled in all the labels, I forget myself. I lose myself in what has to be done, what needs to be said, and how those things will get that way. And, I just forget…

to be ME.

– B. Clary

A Moment

It envelops me

Sometimes

I just want to be alone

Not always

Just moments

A moment alone

A moment when I am not exhausted and unable to think

A moment for just me and silence, a friend I rarely see anymore.

A moment for my thoughts to creep out

from dusty corners of my mind and stretch.

Just a moment

A moment to breathe

A moment when my name is not being called

A moment austerity has passed, a sigh of relief finally escapes

A moment to address the restless fears

I have held at bay far too long

Sometimes

I just want to be alone

and release the hindering restraint that is

my life.

-Clary

Graduating!

I’m not who I was yesterday. Yesterday fades behind me. Moments carried away by the winds of the present. We fumble around in this world. Unsure, clinging to a reality made by those who have fallen before us only to feel just as lost as when it all began. How we blindly seek the unknown. Longing for change, only to realize that the change terrifies us. Leaving the familiar for the unknown, it shakes us. We cling to the comfort of our tattered faded memories hoping the unknown brings us better days. If only we knew the subtle signs giving us direction weren’t just a trick. If only the sign “Happiness this way 👉” was blatantly obvious and the intentions of those around us were truly meant for our success. We are all here, lost and wandering, pushing forward, hoping, praying, that tomorrow is better than today.

– B. Clary