Joy

© 2020 CMBClary

Longing to feel joy again

Does sorrow ever take a rest?

Control emotions with behest.

Breathe the air, with weightless chest.

To feel again even in brief

No more tears of pain and grief.

No tangled rage and disbelief. 

Or shattered remnants, just relief

I long to one day smile again.

Does every heart deserve to mend?

Bind up wounds and sorrowed rend.

Undo wrongs and make amends.

To go back now, impossible

No virtuous deeds, no words extol.

No more forgiveness for this soul.

Or simple words meant to console.

So I will sit in unsought sorrow

And pray that joy will come tomorrow.

-Clary

Carry On

© 2020 CMBClary

Memories brim at every corner of my mind.

A heavy stone in my chest,

A lump in my throat, but,

I carry on.

What else is there?

Just tasks.

All the things no one else will do,

They wait for me.

And while my heart is a still ache,

I carry on.

That’s what’s expected of me.

Just another day

All the hours clambering.

To what end?

And while we all expire, it remains a mystery, but

We carry on.

– Clary

Merry Christmas!

As Christmas Eve falls upon us again and we each repeat our holiday traditions. (Some of us in a not so jolly disposition) Take a moment to stop, take a breath, and take it all in. Remember those you love, those who couldn’t make it for a visit, and those no longer with us. These are the days that will become memories. Those little babes in diapers will grow up and have babes of their own. One day you will no longer be able to pick up those tiny bodies and dangling limbs and whisk them off to bed. One day you will sing them a final lullaby, until they tell you they no longer need your sweet serenades to fall asleep. One day those tiny hands and sticky fingers will no longer fit inside yours. So, in those moments of frustration that come with the holidays take a moment to see how blessed you are. Tell your parents how much they are loved. Kiss your babies sweet little faces and enjoy their bright eyes of wonder this holiday season. Time changes ALL things. Savor it! Above all else thank God for all He does and gives!

A very Merry Christmas and Blessed New Year Friends!!!

-Clary

Pet -A Funny Rhyme or Two

I want to keep you as a pet
To come to me at my behest
To dream of me all the day long
To be here at my beckon call

I want to keep you as a pet
To laugh at my comedic fret
To clean my house and smile at me
To be whatever I ask you to be

I want to keep you as a pet
To work and pay off all my debt
To massage me twice a day
And not expect me to repay

So what if they’re absurdities, ridiculous as they may seem
O’ come on boys, a girl can dream.

-Clary

Cold Winter Day

©2017 C. Clary

When winter dew kisses the earth,

My fatigued soul will long for mirth.

Frigid reminder of what could have been.

A constant pain from deep within.

My body aching, searching for yours.

To touch would be the cause of wars.

To kiss those silken lips so sweet.

To love you with unbridled heat.

But all will end in travesty,

For we both know my history.

There is a heavy price to pay,

For a love that bloomed one cold winter day.

– Clary

The End

It’s over now.

I ripped you from my life.

You were woven in so tightly for so long.

I didn’t think I could hold it together without you there.

I didn’t think I’d survive it.

I miss you at times.

We were best friends.

I thought by some miracle we still would be,

But I don’t know you anymore.

What has passed is always faded by what is present.

I left you.

I knew you would move on,

I knew you’d be okay without me.

Sometimes I question if I did the right thing,

But I was miserable.

I went over all the reasons,

All the, “what if’s”.

It just wasn’t enough.

It never would have been enough.

You weren’t enough.

And I guess that’s wrong of me to say.

After fifteen years without saying it.

It’s crowded here in my head.

My mind and heart battle each other.

I find myself alone without direction.

Yet somehow,

Life finally makes sense.

– Clary

Uninspired

©2019 CMBClary

The vibration of the washer through the wall makes the bed ripple beneath me. My thoughts scatter like shredded paper and I struggle to pick them up and make something coherent of them. All the want of being alone, when I finally am, the desire to produce eludes me. A slight ringing in my ear reminds me these moments are few and far between, like the buzzing of a timer. But I’ve lost interest, in this paper, in writing, in speaking, or creating anything of worth. So I sit here in my silence waiting, pleading, hoping, inspiration will find its way to me again.

-Clary

The Spaces In-between

Life,

so full at times,

Even all the spaces in-between.

A fullness that inundates every crevice.

This too will pass.

Soft skin to folds of leathery lines,

Strong steady hands to trembling decline.

Golden locks to un-kept silver strands.

And time,

While filled with too much, still insatiable.

Do not grow weary of your busy day,

Soon those spaces will empty.

And Time,

Our companion and our adversary,

Will pause for you.

Soon, that which it gifted will be taken back,

And this world will continue without you.

– Clary