Suffocation

What is this? I’m happy. Right? Then why do I feel so hindered? Why does it feel less like a choice, And more like chains? Are these my true feelings or Is the devil trying to get the upper hand? I just need some time away. I think. Just some time that isn’t full of

Take A Breath

I no longer question the existence of God. I’ve passed that point in my life. I know damn well I was created, and though I often forget, I know what I was meant to do. Still, I find myself struggling through the muck of life. I know it was never meant to be easy, but

Christmas Reminder!

Throwback post! Merry Christmas!

Acquiesce

The leaves here have begun to fall. There’s a coolness in the breeze signaling change is on its way. I can only hope it’s for the better. The sinking feeling comes back to haunt me daily. I keep the rising screams at bay with work, and school, and making dinner. But I feel the heaviness

Against the Grain

There’s shame in my resentment. It burrows its way back into my heart and mind, if I let it. WHEN I let it. Like tendrils they pierce the flesh of every thought as every negative memory of you plays on repeat in my head. The warnings were there all along. Love shouldn’t be a constant

Frayed Edges

Here I go again. Omitting truth for peace. Afraid to crush your fragile sentimentality. Constantly teetering on the scale of our relationship. This time I won’t falter, No matter the cost. This time I will speak my mind, Without concern for your delicate heart. The one I fight to understand as I search for my

Prick

Thank you for making it easy. Now I can move on. Much obliged you haven’t written, or responded to my calls. I’m grateful you ignore me, And don’t want me by your side. At times my thoughts drift back to you I’m not going to lie. I lose myself in what would have beens, What

Broken Seashells

The crisp breeze blew as time erased another sunset from the sky. The light of the  first star pricked a hole in the darkness and the moon set up, dismissing the pale blue of the day. I found myself staring up, feeling insignificant,  as memories of you began to wash in like broken seashells on

Soliloquy

The smell of fresh rolls wafted through the dining area. I sat at the bar waiting for my order. A man sat three stools down. I caught intermittent mumbles about death, the end of the world, and some Bible verses. I wonder if he knows something I don’t? If he hears the echo of voices

Your Touch

You didn’t touch me again today. Should I be worried? Is it happening again? My thoughts go dark fast. Has my adventurous nature become mundane? Perhaps. But,There will be a time when you’ll realize what you have. Hopefully, Before I stop missing the feel of your hands on my skin. Before the thought of your

We Rise

No worries, We’ll be okay, whatever may come. Empires have risen and fallen Hellfire, rain, famine, locust, pandemic and all. We’ll be okay. We’ll rise from the rubble, rebuild what was lost. Waters recede, and the sun shines again We’ll rise from the ash, as spring gifts us her bloom. Crops are resown, industries recover

Lullaby

Help me find sleep tonight. Bring quiet to this mind. My body has grown weary, of the hardships in my life. Silence all stray thoughts. Bring rest to my eyes. Let darkness take me in her arms, and sing her lullaby. Put away the triumphs and failures of the day. Tuck me in so tightly

Mistaken Path

I am here but I am gone, Waiting for new time to dawn. One without so many cares, One with less burdens to bear. I am here but I am not, A memory of what I was taught. Like a faded withered tree, Only a figment of what use to be. Will I grow to

Nostalgia

I take my place as part of a final generation that grew up when Saturday morning cartoons were still a thing, and Sundays were still held sacred. Before internet and cell phones trapped us in zombie mode. Saying so makes me feel ancient. It’s a strange thing when change comes so quickly. A quarter of

Mayflies

I use to think when people died young it was because there was so much sadness in their hearts they just could’t keep it from breaking. I would have kept on believing this had I not lost my daddy so young, or experienced the agony of losing two unborn children, only to find I still

You

I can’t understand it. I can’t comprehend. How a love so deep spawned so quickly from friends. Just a small spark, ignites a fire; That makes you think up all these dreams and desires. It wraps you in tightly, without regard Of whom you’re attached to, no matter how far. It tells you that love

We Are The Music

A homage to T.S. Eliot’s Four Quartets

Sunlight

Sunlight streams in signaling the beginning of a new day. Every day is the same You are everything to me and I bound myself to you I made the links myself, locked the locks, and threw away the key I wanted freedom, but chose chains Naively bound by doing what is “right” My heart screams,

Joy

© 2020 CMBClary Longing to feel joy again Does sorrow ever take a rest? Control emotions with behest. Breathe the air, with weightless chest. To feel again even in brief No more tears of pain and grief. No tangled rage and disbelief.  Or shattered remnants, just relief I long to one day smile again. Does

Carry On

© 2020 CMBClary Memories brim at every corner of my mind. A heavy stone in my chest, A lump in my throat, but, I carry on. What else is there? Just tasks. All the things no one else will do, They wait for me. And while my heart is a still ache, I carry on.

Merry Christmas!

As Christmas Eve falls upon us again and we each repeat our holiday traditions. (Some of us in a not so jolly disposition) Take a moment to stop, take a breath, and take it all in. Remember those you love, those who couldn’t make it for a visit, and those no longer with us. These

Pet -A Funny Rhyme or Two

I want to keep you as a pet To come to me at my behest To dream of me all the day long To be here at my beckon call I want to keep you as a pet To laugh at my comedic fret To clean my house and smile at me To be whatever

Cold Winter Day

©2017 C. Clary When winter dew kisses the earth, My fatigued soul will long for mirth. Frigid reminder of what could have been. A constant pain from deep within. My body aching, searching for yours. To touch would be the cause of wars. To kiss those silken lips so sweet. To love you with unbridled

The End

It’s over now. I ripped you from my life. You were woven in so tightly for so long. I didn’t think I could hold it together without you there. I didn’t think I’d survive it. I miss you at times. We were best friends. I thought by some miracle we still would be, But I

Near

I felt you here today. I didn’t see you. We didn’t speak. But I knew you were near. -Clary

Uninspired

©2019 CMBClary The vibration of the washer through the wall makes the bed ripple beneath me. My thoughts scatter like shredded paper and I struggle to pick them up and make something coherent of them. All the want of being alone, when I finally am, the desire to produce eludes me. A slight ringing in

The Spaces In-between

Life, so full at times, Even all the spaces in-between. A fullness that inundates every crevice. This too will pass. Soft skin to folds of leathery lines, Strong steady hands to trembling decline. Golden locks to un-kept silver strands. And time, While filled with too much, still insatiable. Do not grow weary of your busy

Displaced

Darkened skin  Freckled nose Lines baked in by time and sun Furrowed brow Callused hands  dirt stained cracks and folds Clouded eyes look on and wait For death? Perhaps, Or  maybe just a  Hand to hold. -Clary

Poetic Curse

©2010 B. Clary I often think in poetry. It is a curse my own disease. To look upon a tree in awe, Its gnarled roots in winters thaw. The rolling hills, flowers in sync, Petals so soft like lips of pink. A splash of blue upon the sky, As feathered clouds lazily float by. The

Etchings

Photograph©2015 B. Clary All of your things are gone now. My mind rummages through fading memories, trying to find one bright enough to cling to. The wisdom you’d freely given in my youth reduced to worn etchings on my bitter heart, relics of a time I had squandered it. Dreams of you are few and